There are several wordings of this hadith.
It occurred when Umm Sulaim, a woman from the Ansar, boldly came to the prophet
"Messenger of God, God is not ashamed of the truth. Is any washing necessary for a woman when she has a sexual dream?”
The prophet tells her women, like men, should purify if they see the liquid discharge when they wake up. Umm Salama the prophet's wife, who was also present, felt ashamed about the topic of discussion, trying to pass off the notion of wet dreams for females as something she was unaware off
"You have embarrassed the women. Do women experience wet dreams?".
Aisha, who was also present, was equally embarrassed, telling the questionner
"May your hand be covered with dust and injured".
The prophet rebuked them both
"Leave her alone. In what way does the child resemble her but for the fact that when her water/MAA' is dominant, the born child resembles his maternal uncles but if the water/MAA' of the man was dominant, the born child should resemble his paternal uncles".
Water is a very general term that can mean several things in that context, including sperm, vaginal discharge, follicular fluid, and even genes. In other versions of the hadith, there is clarification of the discharge that is meant as being involved in genetics
"Muslim added in the version of Umm Sulaim, "The man’s liquid is coarse and white, the woman’s fine and yellow, so the resemblance comes from the one which prevails or comes first".
What transpires from this is the prophet's cool-headed response despite the awkwardness of the moment. He tells the woman what to do in her situation then follows by rhetorically rebuking his condescending wives; he confirms the notion of female wet dreams during which discharge may be emitted, then, further presses on the very topic of female discharge which his wives found embarrassing, by saying which type of liquid is involved in genetics.
This idea of dominance as a factor that determines physical attributes in a future child is seen in a similar hadith that occurs on a different occasion
"The water of the man is white and the water/MAA' of the woman is yellow. When they get together, if the sperm/MANNI of the man dominates the sperm/MANNI of the woman, the child is male, by the permission of Allah, and if the sperm of the woman dominates the sperm of the man, the child is a female by the permission of Allah".
The Arabic "manni" never refers to female secretion, but only to the male's. For a woman it is maa', as in the first part of the hadith. Here again the idea of dominance is implied. Sperm carries male and female chromosomes. At some point, within one sperm cell, one of the chromosomes is inactivated in favour of another who then becomes dominant. The future child's gender is therefore determined, among other things, by whether a sperm with a dominant gender characteristic overcomes the sperm with the opposite dominant gender characteristic.
Interestingly the prophet mentioned that physical traits also go beyond the direct implication of the parents
“A man from Banu Fazarah came to the Messenger of Allah, and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, my wife has given birth to a black boy! The Messenger of Allah said: ‘Do you have camels?’ He said: ‘Yes.’ He said: ‘What color are they?’ He said: ‘Red.’ He said: ‘Are there any grey ones among them?’ He said: ‘Yes, there are some grey ones among them.’ He said: ‘Where does that come from?’ He said: ‘Perhaps it is hereditary.’ He said: ‘Likewise, perhaps this is hereditary! “
"It is not lawful for a man who believes in God and the last day to water what another has sown with his water".
It is an ethically, morally detestable thing to do even though physically, the most a sexual partner's semen can do in this case is to "water" what has already been sown.
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